Taking the Test

Thursday Morning

Well, I slept great last night (2 sleeping pills will do that!) but Bryce not so much. They told us they wouldn't come in unnecessarily but that went to pot pretty fast. 

They came in at 4 to draw labs. Since they took his central line out they had to poke him for them. Then they came in at 7, gave him some more meds and poked him again. At 8 they came in and hung a bag of blood to transfuse (which was never explained and we weren't given the chance to refuse. Not that we would have, we just would have waited until he woke up so he could get some more sleep!) so they had to poke him for that. At 9 they came in and poked him AGAIN- poking one vein 3 times before it blew and they had to use another spot entirely. Since he can't be poked at all on his right arm due to his fistula, all needles, IV's, blood pressure, and sticks have to happen on his left arm. He was quite the pin cushion and NOT happy about it. They need to be more careful about only sticking veins they know will work! 

I slept til 11 and woke up in Mama Bear mode. I asked his aid why they had to stick him so many times. I guess the doc came in early and they wanted to get on top of his numbers before his biopsy, hence the first blood draw. Then his IV they put in yesterday blew so they had to put another one in, hence the second visit. They drew blood even though the nurse told them to wait since she was coming in to draw labs at 8. I asked the nurse why they gave him the transfusion without the option to refuse it, or wait! They always have in times past. And he had a transfusion yesterday and one the day before so were his numbers so bad he had to have a third?! And if they were they needed to look at a bleeding issue because he should not be that low still after 2 transfusions. She said they weren't bad, his hemoglobin was 7.1 before the transfusion today. That's the highest it's been in months! Plus he's due for dialysis which means his blood is a little watered down and it's most likely even higher than that! She said they just like to do it before biopsy in case there is a bleeding issue it helps them stay on top of it. I told her none of that was explained to us in allll our conversations about biopsy. Especially because the biopsy was supposed to happen first thing this morning followed by dialysis. Its now almost noon- no biopsy still. She has an IV med that takes 20 minutes to infuse and is supposed to be given 30 minutes before biopsy. Ultrasound just called to say they're coming for the biopsy, so she is hanging the bag as we speak.

I was not happy, and I let her know we need to know what they're doing each time they come in. She said she would try to do better. She kept her explanation brief because she wanted to let us sleep, which I can appreciate. But he wasn't sleeping anyway so...

He is mad and fighting to get out of here. Which as we all know is a sign that he really is feeling better. Hoping for discharge tomorrow. Doctors still haven't come in for morning rounds, I'd imagine we might not see them until after his biopsy but I don't know.

Our nurse told us she had a patient here several months ago that was in the same spot- kidney hasn't woken up by the time she left the hospital. Said she went in one morning to go to the bathroom and it was like someone had turned the fire hose on. So we're still optimistic. 

Thursday Afternoon

The surgeon (Dr. Fujita) said on his rounds this afternoon that the biopsy is to determine if it's just taking a while to wake up or if it's rejection. He said "Either way, we have a solution. If it's rejection, we treat that with meds. If it's just taking a while to wake up, we wait and give it some time." He made me feel confident that whichever it is, they will know and be on top of it. It's been weird that the nephrologist and the surgeon have been better about communicating this time around than the nurse we've had today. It's usually the other way around at the hospital in Provo.

The nephrologist (Dr. Anand who we really really like!) came in after Bryce left for his biopsy and I talked to him for a minute. He said after biopsy they would do dialysis here in the room and give him another transfusion. I said "Another one? He had one two days ago, one yesterday and one this morning? Why does he need so much blood?" He was unaware that Bryce had one this morning prior to biopsy. It must have been the surgeon that ordered it and not him. Anyway, he looked and said there was nothing about it in his chart. I said "Well, I didn't SEE him get the transfusion, but he and the nurse both told me he got some." He said he'd look into it and get back to me. For clarification from Dr. Anand- this morning they gave him platelets and plasma, not full blood. When he came in for transplant his hemoglobin was 8.7. After transplant it went down to 6.3, then transfusion/dialysis, then 6.7. After second transfusion it went to 7.3. This morning before plasma it was 7.1, they think most of that drop was dilution because he needs to dialyze and so the fluid waters down his blood basically. I asked if he really needed a third transfusion. Not that we are against it, I just want to know if there's something else going on. He said it's not at a level where it's cause for concern but more blood will help him feel better, because while he's at 7-point-something he IS still low. More blood will give better supply to the kidney, wake it up and stimulate it better/faster. Give him more energy to walk and eat and be more active which will all help with recovery, healing and the kidney starting to work. This is why I love Dr. Anand. He never gets defensive or frustrated and will answer my questions endlessly and explain it so we can understand. He is excellent.

Bryce is still down having his biopsy. When that is done he is coming back to his room and they will dialyze him there and give him a full blood transfusion. 

Phew! That was a lot. Hope it made sense!

Bryce’s Dad shared some thoughts with us today, one of which was “I love life but sometimes tests are hard.” It’s true! Tests are hard. In school I was a horrible test taker. I studied. I knew the answers. I paid attention in class. Something about having to remember everything ALL AT THE SAME TIME stressed me out. If the test was timed: psh forget about it. I’ll write the big, fat, red “F” on the front myself. I had/have pretty intense performance anxiety. 

But...

This life is a test and we know that. A test to prove if we will be true and faithful, keep our covenants and be worthy to live with God again. Tests are hard. This has been a test. I wouldn’t say there’s been much of anything about this experience that has been easy. 

But you know what makes the test easier? If you do the homework and pay attention in class. The anxiety about the test decreases. Your faith in yourself and the time you spent studying grows. You feel more confident and not only able to pass the test, but able to remember the test material long after the actual taking of the test has passed! It should be noted that you can PASS a test without a perfect score. Just because we pass the test doesn’t mean we’re perfect. Or that we know everything. But we knew enough to show the teacher that we understood it and were ready for more. 

The great thing about the Gospel and this test is that we don’t have to know ALL THE STUFF RIGHT NOW. It starts small. And only grows as fast as we want it to. We aren’t forced to learn things we aren’t ready for, because if we were then no real learning would happen. That’s strictly memorization that disappears when the test is over. 

So remember that, when the test feels hard. If you don’t have the answers, go study. Do your homework. Pay attention in class. You might be surprised how much you learn and how ready you are for the test.